Something to call your own.

7 03 2014

Balance. 

A Time for Everything

 ECC 3:3

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens

We often times forget that we as mothers need something to call our own. For the past few months, I have fought having something of my own. Even though I felt Heavenly Father calling me  to get up early and start working out and spend some time with Him I ignored it.  I struggled last year with moving my family into homeschooling. My hubby deployed and from day one it was a battle. Not only with my children, which I expected, but with all the other outside influences that come when my hubby deploys.  Here I was following Heavenly Father’s call to witness to my own children and I was miserable. Not because of that act of homeschooling, but all  the  outside stuff  that worked into our every day lives and kept me from being the best teacher I could be in our school. Never mind a calling to run and spend time with Him.

This past weekend I had the pleasure and honor of participating in the Disney 10K Princess Run. I went with a group of beautiful God-filled women. In addition to that, we spent our family vacation at Disney. This was the 2nd time we went as a family.   Amazing does not quite cover the feelings and emotions associated with this run and our trip. Almost 9,000  men and women participated in this event. Eight thousand participants were women!  Sit and ponder that amount of people!

I honestly did not want to do it. I tried getting into shape, but it was a daily struggle. After a deployment you also have an adjustment period when your spouse comes home. My hubby was amazed at how much our family structure changed with homeschooling. We were closer. We were not watching TV and we were a reading family.  Couple that with my hubby reaffirming his relationship with Heavenly Father and we were two very different people when he arrived home. We are still adjusting and at times we are not doing it well.  But we have Heavenly Father guiding us; this has been our saving grace.

Ever had a time in your life when the act of getting out of bed was a gift?  That was how the last year went; lawsuits, loss of friendships, homeschooling, deployment, the end of my volunteering, the end of my schooling, and a host of other really big issues.. I was exhausted emotionally, physically and spiritually. If there was a problem, I ran into it during my husband’s absence. I was pushed to my limits. I did not know then, I was that strong of a person. But  I needed to be humbled.

Fast forward: a week before the run.

I could not get into regular running. I was only up to 4 miles at a time and spinning 3 times a week. I was freaking out. But the Running Princesses came in strong. They prayed for me. They even supported me during the run! They surrounded me with His love and theirs. So off I was to Disney with my family.

Fast forward :the morning of the run.

The fireworks went off and we started. I was in the last group. The very last group of 9000 people! For the first few minutes it took a lot to navigate the crowd. I eventually stepped off the pavement and just ran on the grass. I had to, if I ever wanted to pass anyone.  I closed  my eyes right as I  started. Silently, I asked for His wings to carry me. Up to this point, I had only trained for 6 weeks. Every time I tried to get further than 4 miles, I felt mentally defeated. Physically, I felt every year of my 43 years when I trained.  I never started running at my weight. I always waited until I was under 200 lbs.

I purchased a new iPod for the run and even created a playlist the night before. But that did not matter. I was not meant to listen to any music this time. I lost my ear buds  in the crowd.  Talk about a bummer! Initially, I was a bit upset by this. But as I took one step in front of the other, I realized I needed to be in the moment. I needed the mindfulness of what I was attempting to accomplish right then and there.  I felt every breath in my chest, and heard the rocks crunch under my feet. The people around me just disappeared.  I was alone in my head. Something that had not happened for 18 months! Immediately I felt a surge of energy . His wings lifted me up. I felt like I was the frog in a game of Frogger and my Heavenly Father was moving me! The energy was invigorating. Just run. Just keep running. Don’t look back and keep focused on the goal at hand–to finish! Finish I did. I cried like a baby. I had an asthma attack. Something that  has not happened in 5 years!

After the run, I started thinking about the whole experience.  We live in a fallen world. It is the property of Heavenly Father; perverted in some ways by the other side. So many people do not have a relationship with Heavenly Father. They do not know the good news at all. My heart weeps at this thought. Some symbolism started to appear in relation to my run.  The cement course, which was hard, tough and grueling, reminded me so much of our lives without Heavenly Father. I never did it well when I was without Him. Ever. Don’t get me wrong, we have some humdinger of moments with Him on our journey too, but cement road is toughest surface and the worst surface to run on. Runners prefer to avoid it.  Life is so much harder without Heavenly Father too.  We just can’t do it as well as He would.   We try to and usually fail miserably. I looked for a softer surface ; just like I chose to walk my journey on this earth with Heavenly Father. I needed to save my feet from blisters. I all ready had two. So I ran on the grass. The grass , which is a softer surface compared to that of cement, symbolized my journey with Heavenly Father. Sure I had to avoid the potholes. There were quite a few just like He promised we would shave some challenging times. I mean seriously how many of His disciples died for their beliefs?  But the surface gave some leeway as I ran. Just like He guides us when we allow Him too.

Steeping off the cement path, symbolized running with Heavenly Father. When we are called to walk with Him, we often face trials without support from this earthly realm.  I still had to navigate; I still had to choose which path to move forward.  But I was not alone. He was with me. There were even  times He took over. Towards the end of the run, I could only think about the focus on my pain. My body hurt and I was exhausted. He led my feet one stride at a  time.  Like in life, sometimes you just can’t avoid tougher surfaces.  Some times we have to muddle through it.  We have things we must navigate whether they are good or bad.

Galatians 6:9  Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

The run in its entirety symbolized a mental and physical challenge. It was the culmination of a year and half worth of struggles for myself and my family.  I was not about to give up. After all, I had Heavenly Fathers back! But so often in the crux of great strife we forget about balance. We forget about honoring Him and also honoring ourselves. Our bodies our temples. They are the only bodies we have in this life. We should take care of them.   I love being a mother. I love being a teacher, but what I missed most of all is doing something that is just for myself.

So often we forget that we have desires and hopes too. It is easy to get caught up and even lost in motherhood. It is a consuming job. Whether you work or stay at home, you need to learn to balance the many hats stored in your closet. I was not balancing my needs very well. I was not balancing my time with Heavenly Father either.  This run exemplified the importance of my needs in the equation of success for my family and my walk with Heavenly Father. How are you balancing your needs? How you honoring His Glory in your walk?

~m

Advertisements

Actions

Information

Every comment is appreciated....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: