Streakin Shearins

20 10 2013

We are so hung up on clothes.  I am raising my children to be nudists.  Just ask my neighbors and my friends.  We bare all as a family.

Jeff had to of known something like this was coming.  It has always been hard for my army man to let go; to just fly like the wind. Raised Baptist, I have floored him a time or two during our relationship. The first time this happened was when he slept over. Yes we were one of those couples that slept in a bed and  did not have sex. My guy is just not that way…now  me on the other hand…..well….let’s just say I am well versed in sexual gratification. I digress  though, as that is a topic for another day.

We were studying late one night and he slept over. Well for those of you that do not know me, I am an exhibitionist and I prefer to sleep naked. Always have and always will. The red on Jeff’s face when I disrobed to sleep that night was well priceless!

Flash forward to a few years, with 3 beautiful children, and he is presented with an amazing opportunity again to be free. Who would have thought his wife would dare him the ultimate dare?  All three children love  the opportunity to be naked… yup… I have had enough time alone with my babies to encourage them to be as free as I am.. My hubby has been deployed 4 times, what else could I have done?  I implement my grand vision. I want to take the world over one nudist at a time!

So, he came home from Kuwait and we went to Beaufort, SC. We rented a house in St Helena. Located on the most serene, private part of the marsh, how could I resist? We both just woke up. The kids were fixing breakfast when I did it. I dared him to run around the house (outside) naked!  He gave me that “your crazy ” look. He hemmed and hawed. All the while, I egged him on. I mean I lived with this man for 14 years. I know what buttons to push!  The next thing I know, all three children were racing around and around the house; butt-naked.  After that first day, it became a daily activity after breakfast. The Shearin Streakers were born!  My children even tried to see who could run the most laps around the house!  Crazy, I know!

So what is the purpose of the story? Why expose the Shearin Secret Society?

These past few months, I have been evaluating my relationships. Many thing ran through my head just like a ticker.  Was I being the best friend I could be for each of my friends?  Was I honest in a loving way, a manner worthy of Him? Did I owe some friends an apology for some hurt feelings?  Did I need to better  myself in any way?  As I rolled these questions around in my brain, I kept coming back to two words; vulnerability and transparency.   How did these words play into my friendships………Was I vulnerable enough and transparent enough  with my friends, in  manner Heavenly Father would find worthy? I prayed and realized I needed to grow a bit more. I realized I was not.

Heavenly Father expects us to be our most honest and most transparent selves with our family and friends. He expects this in all of our relationships.  He wants us to lean on Him for direction, and comfort, but He requires we be active participants in all of our relationships. We grow  from every interaction within these relationships too.  We learn what personalities we can handle in our lives, while we figure out our strengths and weaknesses.  We learn our boundaries through a foundation of HIM.  We bring glory to Him when we are not only transparent with HIM in our prayers, but in our relationships with others.  Of course, we will run into some problems. We are humans and deal with humans.  Nobody said it would be easy to be vulnerable or transparent. In order to be Light in the darkness, we need to expose our selves. We need to open up our hearts to others and become vulnerable.  In order for the Light to emanate from us, we need to be transparent, just like all of us running around naked in Beaufort, SC.   Mind you, I am not encouraging you run around naked at this point in your neighborhood. I am just asking you to consider stepping outside your comfort zone with Heavenly Father at the Helm. Allow yourself to vulnerable and transparent in your relationships. He will do amazing things with you, I promise!




Generations lost.

6 09 2013

One of the few perks of military life is moving around and meeting new people. It can be hard on the heart, but it is nice to know eventually I will see some of my army sister spouses again. Over time, I have been blessed with some really awesome and supportive friends. There is a dark side to this though, one I think we need to discuss. A common theme among  many of my friends right is we are  all in some way estranged from our parents. This can be with a mother, a father or both. In my case, it is both. I often hear this is nothing new. “It is the new normal,” is the comment that follows next.  Pause for one moment and ponder that… This is a very scary thought. How does a generation of men and women grow into functioning members of society if they have no role models? Who do they look up to?  How do these same men and women raise children, who are also able function as contributing adults too? We have men and women who have never been taught the beauty of Mother Earth, the Spirit of Heavenly Father and the workings of everyday life. We have men, women and children that do not know the love of Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. It has become such a problem, that we barely find strength in many family ties today. We see no bonding either. We see children clinging to items or idols; the wii, the ipad, their clothes, the shoes, their friends you get it.. everything but the right choices….  Mothers and Fathers  are more worried about getting food and paying the bills than being mindful of the precious gifts right in front of them; their own children.  Has someone set it up this way? Is there a higher power at work here?  We see governments attempting to take on roles that they were never meant to be a part of at all. For the sake of Liberty, they should never be allowed to venture into education, commerce, security and healthcare. Unfortunately, this is not the case today in our country, nor in the rest of the world. As a result, generations of families are lost.  Gangs are on the rise.  Drug use  is up. Prisons are growing more than we can handle; more than we can bear the cost.   It is hard to see it sometimes, or maybe we just do not want to see it all.  Maybe we are just sticking our heads in the sand, hoping it will go away. The knowledge we should be gleaning from generations of our elders should be priceless. Not something we need to turn away from and relearn.  It should be wanting and needing. Health eating ,healthy living,  how to honor our spouse, honor our children and how to have a relationship with Heavenly Father, knowing how to love one another as Jesus loves us, these  are the gifts we are not seeing in families. I vow to teach my children differently. I promised them and my husband that the abuse would end with my father and mother. It stopped in my generation. It has not been an easy walk. I am not perfect.  I had to learn how to effectively and positively communicate with His love guiding me.  I am afraid I have made some terrible mistakes in the past and I am certain I will make more in the future. I am not giving up though. Not in the least. Learning self-control and discipline are extremely challenging. We had a frank discussion tonight at the dinner table about those two very topics. We reviewed the definitions in the dictionary and then read a few verses in the bible about them as well.  In an attempt to teach them, I learned something tonight too. My boys were afraid of my temper sometimes. My boys are in Neurofeedback for their ADHD. This last month has been a challenge to say the least. You see as they become more “normal,” and we peel back the layers of their ADHD, we have to relearn social, emotional and relationship skills all over again and again.  tonight’s discussion was about their lack self-control and discipline. It was also about mine.   I was not surprised to hear my boys tell me that sometimes they are afraid of my temper.  It took a lot for my oldest to admit it. I was not upset about it either. Heavenly Father gave me this insight years ago as a way to get me into therapy.  In order to break the cycle, I needed to learn how to manage my triggers. I have been working so hard over the years in therapy and in Neurofeedback myself, I figured every thing was all right. I missed the fact I was scaring them.  Not all the time, but sometimes.  What surprised me the most were  the Holy Spirits words that ran through my head immediately thereafter.  “As Heavenly Father allows us grace every day, we need to show that to others, and ourselves. ” My husband even model this very sentence the moment after. Humbled, I apologized for making them fearful. I never wanted that at all.  I learned a few things in those moments. I learned how much I need to calm and center myself not for me, but for them too. To show my passionate son how people like us can work out these big emotions constructively. I learned how precious the gift of open conversation can be with your friend, but how much more precious it is with my own child. My sons trusts me enough to talk to me. No matter how much it may hurt my feelings, he loves me enough to open up. To see the tears in my husband eyes as he recited  a few verses in Hebrews was priceless. He saw how painful 4 deployments have been on the children and  I; how blessed we are as a family to still be together. He talked about how much we have gone through as an army family and how that struggle has made us stronger. To see the love in his eyes was wonderful too.  All I want is my children to do it better. To love Heavenly Father with all their hearts, and be a better parent than I ever will be. The grace I show them, the grace they show me, is the transcended gift from Heavenly Father. It is a blessing! So here is my prayer tonight. Help me Heavenly Father with grace. Help me love my children as I have never been loved and help them love in a manner that they will not be a generation lost. ~m

The strength from within…

13 02 2013

I met her almost a year and a half  ago. She came in like a blazing star and left the same way.  Her first MOPS meeting and she was so excited to be with other moms, instead of  being alone and feeling so isolated. I remember how that felt in our 2nd deployment.  The military can do that to you, especially when you live off post from an installation. It is hard to get up the desire and gumption sometimes to make a new friend. We move so often, the heart-strings hurt.. and we sometimes tend to allow the isolation get the better of us. But this is not about being isolated at all. This is about watching the Spirit of Heavenly Father work in one of His children, whether they knew it or not! Have you ever met someone who you just knew had a story? Well I remember when I first met her. I felt it in every ounce of my being. I could see the depression and the PTSD.  I have that gift;the gift of discernment. At times, I wish I did not. At times, I wish I could just make it go away. This time though it was for a very specific reason. It was to give me hope.

We all have a story. We all have a journey to participate in and a list of things we need to accomplish. We are given no template or no instructions at all. That is why we live in this plane; this is why it so hard because we have a choice on how to proceed in every aspect of our life. It is hard. It is supposed to be. In order to come to Him, it needs to be with our heart open. In The Simple Faith of Mr. Rogers, Amy Hollingsworth asks a very pointed question, “You know how you find somebody who you know is in touch with the truth, how you want to be in the presence of that person all of the time?” well this is the type of person I am talking about. This is my friend.

Regretfully, I did not heed Heavenly Fathers suggestion. I did not befriend her. I was in a very bad place myself and I was afraid I would not be able to help her. But, Heavenly Father always has a back up plan. She met a mutual friend of ours and the last year and half has been amazing!

I am a hard sell on a long-term friendship. Just look at those friends that have come and gone and you would be amazed at the length of that list. Admittedly, I have high expectation for my long-term friendships. I require a level of honesty that many people are just not comfortable with. I want my friends to look at me and say, ” Michele, I love you but……”. If they can’t do that, then I waste no time. Some of my short-term friends come out of listening to Him. He tells me what I need to do, in regards  to that friendship. But this young lady was different. I felt a long-lasting friendship and I was not ready yet. The fear of letting her down weighed on my heart so much. I knew she needed a good friend, I knew she needed Love and Hope in her life and I felt hopeless myself. How do you help someone when your cup is  all ready so empty? I felt vulnerable as well. My hubby and I were not doing well and I was in  graduate school. It  took so much of my time, I used excuses. Sad isn’t it?

So fast forward to the last month. I was taking my kids on a trip to Disney. Jeff being on his 4th deployment, I really did not want to take 3 kids alone. So what do I do? I get the bright idea to ask someone to go…I decide to ask my Facebook  friends. She replied. Nervousness set in. What if I let her down? What if she does not like me? Heavenly Father what if a say something and I make a mistake. But I ignored those fears. He gave me comfort and told me this would be good. So we made arrangements to go together; her two and my three. So here is the visual I need you to see: a mini van with a car top, one cranky middle-aged woman, one young full of energy new mommy, a 3 month old, an 18 month old a, 3.5 year old, an 8-year-old and a 10-year-old.. all driving to the happiest place on earth. Crazy! Little did I know!

It was not crazy though. Like myself, she is former military and married to a military man. Like myself, she is pretty easy-going. Most importantly , like myself she is human too! We farted, we burped, we cursed,  we laughed, we cried, we loved on our children, we met the princesses, we rode many roller-coasters and had a WONDERFUL time. We came home totally exhausted but we made it!

These were all byproducts of the week. The week was really about witnessing a change in my friend, who I now consider a sister. I saw a much stronger woman that week. One who took care of her children despite the anger hurt and resentment she kept deeply buried. I witness her hope for the first time since she came home from Iraq. I witnessed a transformation that humbled me wholeheartedly. I saw Hope radiate from every ounce of her body, mind and spirit! She tore off most of the shackles of a few war related experiences this past year; somethings no woman should ever experience no matter what side you are fighting for..  Hearing her say,” I felt special.” sent me over the falls in tears several nights after.  It still makes me shiver when I think of our time together. How wonderful and blessed I was to see the result of her hard work in therapy and with Heavenly Father.

It is possible to overcome any obstacle before us. She reminded me of that.  It takes time.  It take patience. It also takes work. Work in our relationships with Heavenly Father and with a few good friends.  I wish I had someone like her as my mother. Her two children are so very blessed to have such strong Godly woman being groomed for His glory! Her story inspired me. It showed me how Hope, Faith and Love are really all we need to make it here. Yes, the kids and I really needed this trip. But the purpose was not what I originally thought. It was to  remind me how blessed I am and how important it is for us to share our story. When we are relationships with others, we see His love. We see His grace and can really count the blessings we have to be grateful for. Thank you my friend. Thank you for sharing your story and your time with me.

I love you.


I Refuse…

3 02 2013

I Refuse

by Jeff Shearin

I refuse to be an apathetic man of the 21st century; my God, my wife, my children, my family and friends, my church, my community, and my country deserve better than that

I refuse to take my wife for granted and not let her know she is the best person God has ever put in my life

I refuse to not love and support my wife properly and treat her with respect; she is too valuable and precious

I refuse to not be a leader in my home; merely “bringing home the bacon” is not enough

I refuse to not teach my children, discipline my children, or love my children; I must live purposefully and raise them accordingly

I refuse to succumb to what society thinks of my beliefs anymore; thankfully, the one Being who knows my heart and motives better than anyone . . . is really the only one that matters

I refuse not to show and tell others what the love of Christ can do for them . . . as it has done, and still does, for me

I refuse to accept the notion that I was created by happenstance or for no reason; we were all created ON purpose and FOR a purpose

I refuse to be an innocent bystander in my faith anymore; Jesus didn’t call me (or any of us) to be spectators at the game, but to be players on the field

I refuse to be judged by society and cultural standards; my measure of “success” is weighed on an eternal scale

I refuse for my children to one day leave our home without a love for God, love for others, solid work ethic, a set of Biblically-based values, a confident self-esteem, and knowing that their parents love them

I refuse for my daughter to one day leave our home not knowing what type of man she needs to look for in a mate

I refuse to allow my sons to become men who measure themselves by the dollars in their salary, number of people that work for them, or by putting God and family behind their careers

I refuse not to parent with my grandchildren in mind

I refuse not to love my wife as Christ loved the Church . . . willing to die for it

I refuse to take for granted the love of our Heavenly Father who sent His son to reconcile our sinful natures by His living example then through His sacrifice . . . a death that Jesus took willingly, knowing it was God’s ultimate purpose for Him

Uncomfortable with Heavenly Father.

30 01 2013

The past few weeks have grown increasingly uncomfortable for everyone in my family. When mom is not happy ;the whole house is not happy.  As a family, we moved into homeschooling with the onset of Jeff’s 4th deployment and the holidays. What was Heavenly Father thinking? I was  not sure…. Couple that with money stress and I have been the proverbial chicken with her head cut off! Not a fun place to be.  I managed to hit a pole with my car, replace 4 tires from 4 nails, participate in a stove fire,  lock myself out of my car, lock myself out of my home, and then came all the sickness. Some daily functions were affected so much by my insanity,  I would forget why I even was sitting in the Bi-Lo parking lot. Ever been that crazy?  Ever been so stressed you forget why you were even at the store? Fun times!

I wish someone would have taught me that being uncomfortable is okay; that it is not necessary to fix my uncomfortable situation immediately. I wish someone would have told me that we all get uncomfortable with our lives and sometimes we just have to muddle through it. Nobody ever did that.   Society certainly does not help either! We can get a pill for this, a shot for that.. find food immediately. I wish someone would have said that I am not alone when things are uncomfortable and hard to even manage. Being uncomfortable, not being able to pay bills, to not even know where the next meal will come from can seem so hopeless and emotionally draining.   Neither parent ever did this though. They never taught me how to budget, let alone be responsible with my money. This was an acquired trait that needed to be taught to my hubby as well. My parents just fed into the frenzy. Took me to the doctors for this and that, took me to the store for whatever I wanted. They never considered the consequences of their parenting. They gave me what I wanted and not necessarily what I needed.  I have struggled my whole life with different periods of  uncomfortableness. This last one was the tops and I am quite all right with not repeating that again!

This time it was different though. For years, I worked on my self-esteem.  For years, I spent time in therapy finding the root cause of my low self-esteem and  cause of my depression.  Taking the time to get to know you is so important. We all become so entrenched with every day life we forget the two things we need to know every day. We need to know Heavenly Father and we need to know ourselves. We get so darn busy with our to do list, we forget to be mindful of our relationship with Heavenly Father and the relationship we have with ourselves! Do you know your boundaries in relationships? Do you know when you need a time out and just need to stop the craziness of life? Do you take time to eat well and work on your body? Do you work too much in day? Just as you find a physical balance in your day You must also find spiritual balance within in yourself. In order to do this, you need to know you and you need a relationship with Heavenly Father.  You can fix yourself with Heavenly Fathers guidance. The realization that I can be uncomfortable in some parts of my daily walk with Heavenly Father  and yet still function is a new concept. Sometimes He just wants us to allow Him to guide us. Sometimes.. we have to sit very close to Him. Sometimes we have to snuggle with Him just to show we are able and willing to listen to His Spirit.  I never visualized it or asked for His help until I listened to His Spirit. Heavenly Father reminds us in so many ways that we are able to manage any situation through His strength. All we have to do is ask. Bend a knee; just ask for His Holy Spirit to come down and give us strength. We are hindered and distracted though by so many things; our lives, our children, our jobs, our obligations.  The spiritual war taking place is about how many souls know HIM. It is about how many souls Love one another in their daily walk and use the Light of Him that shines in us, to gather others to Him.. Unfortunately this is not happening today for everyone.. probably not even for a large portion of people everywhere. We are very much like the Hebrews of the days of old. Aimlessly wandering in the desert of life, with no direction or inspiration and even hope. He holds the hope though.. and He is the Light.

As a family we made through the dark times of my husbands 4th deployment. We have stood together in prayer an  in tears as a family.The phone and the written word have been our families life line.  This was one of the major differences from the previous three. I had Heavenly Father to guide me, I bent a knee and I kept my children close. But the other part of this was my husbands willingness to bend a knee as well. For 1o years, I was lost in my own marriage. My hubby was too. For 10  years, I had my foot out the door. The last three were even more difficult. I committed to staying in relationship even when my husband was not following Heavenly Father. HE told me too. How is that for a lesson in patience? Not the one I expected when I prayed for it! Not the one at all!  Since we moved into this house, Father placed it on my heart to follow Him. To be a Light in the darkness. What I did not understand for some time, was I was the Light for my husband.. and for my family. I see this now, looking back. I am sure there is much more that happened that I did not understand. Gracefully He has shared some of those moments with me. Why was this so tough though?  Teach a child the way and they shall not depart from it…..  I never had parents who knew how to love others as we are to love one another.  I never had parents who loved Heavenly Father or sought out his love either.

Just last night I had a wicked cry. I needed to cry. I needed to get rid of the sadness from last year.. the time Jeff  left  seemed even more difficult than loosing Brendan, my still-born son. I had so much on my plate. I was scared. I was afraid. I was afraid I would fail at everything including the task of educating my children. The fear of failure can be so great and so debilitating at times. But to pull through, you have to rely on Him. You must bend a knee; we must choose let His grace abundantly overwhelm us. Just as the other side overwhelms us day by day, we need to choose to let His Love abundantly overwhelm our lives moment by moment, day by day and year by year. It is a choice. Do not think it isn’t! What that means for each of us is hard to discern. I do not know what your journey will look like. But when you walk in Light, as He is in the Light, when you prayerfully go to him in all things. He will make that clear. This I know. Take the time today to bend a knee. Take the first step in a new journey with Him. I did.

My prayer for you this day: Heavenly father, I pray this child of yours bends a knee and asks to be a Light in the Darkness. I pray they follow you this day and the rest of their lives.    Amen



Honoring thy mother and father…….

12 08 2011

For those of you that do not know, this is one of the 10 commandments.  On the surface, it would appear like a very simple act of love. We all have a mother and a father. Some of us have fond memories of our parents reading to us, praying with us, teaching us our roles in our family and loving us with all their heart. We have memories of fun times traveling and happy times of hugs and kisses.  We all love our parents to some degree.  What do you do though when the two people that raised you, abused you physically and emotionally?  How do you Honor them?  What does honoring them look like? Are there limits to honoring them, loving them and respecting them?

My children and I spent the last 4 weeks with my mother.  Drama aside, we had some very good times. At what cost though? I knew it would be a difficult trip. This is why I had a migraine on the day we were leaving. 18 years of therapy, forgiveness and the strength of Him were all the tools I needed to succeed. Unfortunately it has taken the last 4 weeks to get to a point of how to honor my feelings for my mother and father while honoring their role in my children’s lives.

My fathers role is very simple. He has no part of my children’s lives.  He refuses to talk to me, since I turned him into the high school counselor back in 1987 for child abuse.   Yes, I turned his ass in. Couple this with my turning him into the IRS. He is still very angry. He claimed me as an exemption when he gave no support at all. I could not get into college unless I had proven I was not his dependent.  $10,000  and 2 years later my mother finally forgave me and we were “friends”  again for some time.  It was to end rather quickly though when I found out the man I had been calling father was really my step father. I went to the social security administration to get a copy of my birth certificate. It was there I learn that I was adopted. So the man, who abused me for many years, was not my real father. I headed into therapy.  I had too, as I married and divorced a man that was just like my step father. His influence needed to stop.  There is no doubt in my mind that John M. Neff will never have a role in my children’s  lives. But what about my mother?

For the next few years, my conversations with my her were stressful to say the least. Whenever we did talk , I was always so angry with her. I never understood why, until recently.  I spent many years in therapy dealing with the physical and emotional abuse from John. The first year, I cried every visit for 52 weeks. After realizing how much of that relationship with him was not my fault,  I moved onto to my mother. I realized how much her silence during the abuse hurt emotionally and physically. I realized how betrayed I felt for her taking 5 years to tell him to stop.  Reliving all those emotions caused some really bad migraines. Reliving all those emotions  was devastating.  My relationships with all my friends were so unhealthy too.  I had no idea how to allow someone near my true heart. I had no idea how to have a healthy discussion. I had no idea how to even have a healthy relationship with a man. I took everything so personal. I walked every day in my body as a victim. Therapy helped rewire all the lessons learned in that home.   I needed to learn how to function as a healthy adult. If I was to have children, they needed the best of me.  None of that was easy. I had to learn to forgive my mother and father for what they did. But I never  did forgot.

The trip with my mother was so stressful.  I had  grown so much from that hurt little girl. Each year we went home to visit, I could see how damaged she was and how this affected my personality and our relationship.   She does not like to ruminate over the past. She refuses to acknowledge how her  own childhood affects her as a adult. She refuses to acknowledge how she was victim in the house as well.

She was the product of 9 children. Her mother was a Madame in their home town until she was run out. My grandpa left my mom, my aunt and my grandma with nothing. My grandma went to work.  Before going to a permanent foster home, my mother raised  my aunt and a half brother, who was black.  The straw on the proverbial back of the town was drawn when my grandma became pregnant again with another baby. This man had 4 other children. My grandmother gave both my uncles up for adoption. A mixed family adopted one boy and the  father of my uncle raised him as his own with his current family.  When grandma Celeste was finally run out, she fled to NY. Eventually sh married a Hispanic man, feel in love and gave him 5 children.

All this information was given to me upon the death of my Aunt Vicki. I met my real family for the first time 5 years ago. I never saw such a collage of people in one room, black, white and Hispanic; so many people paying their respects to my aunt. My Aunt Vicki was a strong woman. She kept in touch with everyone.  She valued family since she never really had a great one. I was overwhelmed to say the least. The tears flowed and emotions were high that day. I was finally home.

Given my mothers history, you would think I would be more understanding of her inability to have healthy relationships. Unfortunately, I answer to a higher power. I will be held accountable by Heavenly Father if I abuse my children or subject them to unhealthy relationships. People are not perfect, but my children do not need to see her and I disrespect each other.  I worked really hard to become the mom I am today. I have made some mistakes along the way as well. I am certain I will make more in the future.  But I will never allow my children to see me as angry as I was with her again. The constant lack of support. Her inability to discern my needs from my children needs. Being  told I am selfish due to  children’s  needs conflicting with hers.  Having them hear the hurtful things we both said to each other. I will not do that again.

My last conversation with her was not pleasant. I asked her to take some ownership in our relationship and get into therapy. I asked her to do this for us, so we could have a healthier relationship.  Her reply, “I don’t have to prove anything to you Michele. This is a power struggle and I will not do this with you.”  The tears have not stopped for the last three weeks. I can’t make her do anything. But, I am not going to continue and toxic unhealthy relationship with her. I am deeply hurt. I told her we would not be visiting anymore and she was not welcome to come here. I love her but I can’t make her do the right thing.

She called me the other day, I answered and asked her not to call me anymore.  I told her, she was welcome to call Jeff and talk to the kids on the phone with him, but I did not want to talk to her anymore. She hung up. It hurt to say that.  It felt good to find my voice, though.  It felt good to finally acknowledge the victim inside me . She will always walk with me, but she is not in control anymore. She is much stronger, more loving and much more respectful of her family and friends.  She desires a healthy life and lots of love.  She deserves happiness, and a good man to share her life with.   She seizes the day and lives in the moment. Her past does not dictate her future.  I wish this for my mother. I wish my mom had the strength to  choose this path as well. I wish she loved me enough to take this step. More importantly, I wished she loved herself enough to try.  This is what honoring myself and honoring my mother and father looks like to me…